Welcome to our annual anti-Emmys telecast, the awards show that celebrates the least, the last and the lost. There's no hype here, no celebration here. These are 2016's anti-winners.

Note: These are only the shows I actually watched this year. There's only so much time in the misbegotten day.

10. “Dice,” Showtime

The promise: One of the biggest stand-ups of the late 1980s.

The reality: To cite Newsday's assessment, “Hickory dickory dock, this review won't come as a shock. The show is bad, the star a bit sad, his shtick as old as a rock.”

9. “Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll,” FX

The promise: Great cast, Denis Leary and a second season that maybe (just maybe) would improve on the first.

The reality: No improvement but regression. Wrong direction.

8. “Bordertown,” Fox

The promise: Voiced by Hank Azaria, and potentially a smart satire on the border debate.

The reality: Pedantry instead of satire. And oh so dull.

7. “Maya and Marty,” NBC

The promise: Maya (Rudolph) and Martin (Short).

The reality: Oh, come on, not so bad! Oh, yes, so bad. But fun-bad and weird-bad. You almost suspect that was the goal. How else to explain bits like “Everybody Poops”? Really: How else?

6. “Mariah's World,” E!

The promise: Mariah Carey.

The reality: Instead of a candid Mariah, viewers got a candid picture of her manager (Stella Bulochnikov).

5. “Roadies,” Showtime

The promise: Attention should be paid whenever an Oscar-winning, “Almost Famous”-directing, Pearl Jam-hanging, cult movie-writing star decides to lend his considerable talents to TV. That would be Cameron Crowe.

The reality: In hindsight, perhaps not too much attention.

4. “Feed the Beast,” AMC

The promise: Heck of a cast, including David Schwimmer, John Doman, Jim Sturgess and Michael Gladis.

The reality: This series about a wholesale wine salesman in the Bronx also included a character — a ruthless mobster — who was known as the Tooth Fairy (alas, poor Gladis).

3. “Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders”

The promise: The return to a major prime-time series of Alana de la Garza, who (other than a short-lived series here and there) hadn't been on a major one since “Law & Order.”

The reality: Sure, nice to have de la Garza back, but the series? With feet of clay, it took a familiar formula, stoked the familiar paranoia and stomped all over the familiar franchise.

2. “Crisis in Six Scenes,” Amazon

The promise: Woody Allen.

The reality: Woody Allen, circa 1970, at times doddering and gaseous, with ersatz material that sounded a little bit too ersatz. Nevertheless, fascinating for what it was, Allen's first TV series.

1. “Who Killed JonBenet,” Lifetime

The promise: After 20 years, a moment of dignity or reflection or of something not too creepy or exploitative.

The reality: Ghastly, ghoulish, grisly. Even with good actors like Michael Gill (who played John Ramsey) and Eion Bailey (Det. Steve Thomas), nothing could save this from receiving our top anti-Emmy of the night.