Whether you're the host of a party or a grateful guest, touchy money situations can crop up over the holidays. Here's some help with a few festive scenarios:

Q: I enjoy serving nice wine at my holiday dinner. If a guest brings a cheap bottle, am I obligated to serve it?

A: If you asked your friend to bring a beverage, then you should serve it, whether it's a fine vintage wine or Two-Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's.

“You don't want your guests to feel that something they brought to be consumed at the party has been stashed out of sight,” says Thomas Farley of What Manners Most, an etiquette consultant. However, if your guest surprised you with the wine as a gift, you're free to serve it, save it to drink later or relegate it to the pantry to use in your next stew.

Q: I cracked an expensive-looking dish at my friends' holiday party. How do I make it up to them?

A: If the item can be repaired, offer to have it fixed on your dime, just as you would offer to foot the dry-cleaning bill if you had spilled gravy on someone's suit. Or, if the dish can be replaced with an identical version at a reasonable cost, order a new piece for your hosts, says Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, president of the Etiquette School of New York.

More likely, the item has long been out of stock or is impossible to find, or it may be an irreplaceable family heirloom, or way beyond your budget. It's still important to ask how you can make amends. Proper etiquette dictates that a host refuse your offer, Farley says. If you still feel compelled to make it up to your hosts, buy them an attractive dish, or a gift basket if you're not sure of their decor tastes.

Q: I host my family every year for Christmas, but my grandchildren are getting older, making it harder to buy gifts for them (and the gifts are more expensive now). How can I gracefully cut back?

A: The simplest approach is to decide on your budget and write checks to each grandchild accordingly. It's fine to designate different amounts based on age or phase of life; the college student putting herself through school may get more than the fifth-grader. In that case, hand out checks privately so that there are no claims of favoritism.

To make the party more festive, give token gifts or organize a Secret Santa exchange. Or skip the checks and give a gift basket to each family.

Miriam Cross is staff writer at Kiplinger's Personal Finance magazine. Send your questions and comments to moneypower@ kiplinger.com.