“I’m looking for some advice.”

A friend reached out to me last week with a problem. He took on a new job a few months ago, but he’s also building his own business on the side and will likely leave in time — something he was clear about with his employer from the beginning.

Here’s where things get tricky: He wants to start posting more content about his business on LinkedIn, but he doesn’t want to upset his employer, who may see his posts.

“I’m just not sure how he’ll feel about these posts,” he told me. “And if it’ll make things awkward at work … or worse.”

Now, let me tell you: My friend is very smart and emotionally intelligent. I’ve learned a lot from him through the years — so I appreciated this time that he came to me.

Before we met, I decided to use a new framework I’ve been testing out with clients, based on a piece of advice I got years ago. The best thing about it is it’s easy-to-remember: a question that’s only five words, but I’ve found it extremely helpful. The question is: What advice would you give?

Why is this question so useful? And how can it help you to think clearly about emotional situations and make better decisions? Let’s take a closer look.

Balancing logic and emotion

“Let’s skip ahead a few years,” I told my friend, as we met. “Your business is running and doing well. Now, someone comes to you and they’re facing the same challenge you just brought to me.”

“What advice would you give?”

The beauty of this framework is it helps you take yourself out of a situation, so you can balance emotion with logic.

If you’ve ever played chess, you know it’s much easier to see the right move when you’re watching someone else play. But when you’re the one playing, it’s easy to make the same kind of dumb mistakes you can’t believe others are making.

It’s the same when you’re facing an emotionally charged situation. It’s easy for emotions to cloud your judgment and cause you to say or do something you later regret.

But here’s where our framework comes in. When you ask yourself “What advice would I give,” you take yourself out of the situation. You think more clearly.

Clear thinking and better decisions

Now, don’t get me wrong. Emotional intelligence isn’t about completely removing emotions from the equation. It’s about finding the right balance between logic and emotion.

It’s helpful to know this framework won’t always lead to a quick solution, but it’s useful in providing you a starting point for brainstorming ideas. When you’re working with an emotionally intelligent peer, coach, or mentor, this question can lead to a quality conversation that reveals data and insights you can use moving forward.

As my friend put it afterward: “It helps you figure out what to amplify and what to tune out.”

In the end, Aaron decided to lean into building the relationship with his current employer. By working with his boss, instead of surprising him or catching him off guard, he takes control of the situation and builds a bridge, instead of a wall.

If he continues to manage this right, that employer may even become a client of his one day.

This is the power of emotionally intelligent frameworks: They help you to balance emotions with logic … so you make decisions that help you reach your goals, instead of hindering you.

That’s what emotional intelligence is all about.