These days, it seems you can’t purchase a product or service without the company promptly following up with a survey asking “How are we doing?” or “Would you recommend us to others?” Try to get a quick response when you have a complaint, however, and businesses aren’t always so eager to hear from you.

When it comes to seeking help with a problem, consumers’ top frustrations are figuring out how to contact the company and being forced to listen to long messages before being allowed to speak to an agent, according to the 2023 National Customer Rage Survey.

The survey also found that people aren’t getting angrier, but more of them are getting angry, says David Beinhacker, chief research officer at Customer Care Measurement & Consulting, which has been publishing the rage gauge since 2003. And consumers are becoming more uncivil, influenced by bad behavior seen on social media and elsewhere.

But yelling, cursing or bullying isn’t the way to resolve problems. If you want to complain effectively, here’s how.

Be polite and brief

After all, the person on the other end of the email or phone call likely didn’t cause your problem. And long, emotional emails often go unread, so try to keep your written complaint to 250 words or less.

“You don’t want to be accusatory,” says Christopher Elliott, founder of Elliott Advocacy, a nonprofit organization that mediates disputes between consumers and companies. “You want to let them know what the problem is — as succinctly as possible — and what you want them to do to fix it. It’s like a demand letter that lawyers put out, but much nicer.”

Make sure to provide key information, such as dates, the transaction or reservation number, your full name and your contact details. And be reasonable in your request on how the company can make things right. An airline, for example, is not going to give you a first-class ticket if you didn’t get your in-flight cup of coffee, Elliott says.

Josh Neuman, founder of Chummy Tees, a graphic T-shirt retailer in Sonora, California, has been on the other side of complaints and offers advice.

“The most effective customer complaints are clear, respectful and have context. ‘I ordered this size, got something else. Here’s the order number. Can you help?’ That gets resolved fast,” Neuman said in an email.

Maintain a paper trail

It’s always a good idea to keep invoices, receipts, warranties and other documents for purchases or services that can later back up a complaint. And as you go through the complaint process, retain copies of all communications. Take a screen shot or photo of your communications with a chatbot; some companies disable the ability to save chats, Elliott says.

Many consumers and even some companies prefer to deal with complaints over the phone. Jot down the date and time you called, the name of the person you spoke with and what was discussed. Better yet, just as companies record calls, you should do the same so you have proof, if needed, of any promises a customer service agent made to you. (In some states, you must inform the company that you are recording the call.)

Avoid these mistakes

Don’t wait too long to complain: Your complaint will be taken more seriously if the problem occurred recently rather than months ago.

Timing also matters when you use a credit card: You should always first give the business a chance to fix the problem, which can be the fastest way to reach a resolution. But if the business ignores you or you’re unsatisfied by its response, you have limited time to request that your credit card payment to that company be reversed. The card issuer will investigate and then decide whether to return the money to your account, called a chargeback. You generally have 60 days from the date your credit card statement was issued to request a chargeback, although many card issuers allow up to 120 days from the date of the transaction.

Never lie: If you made a mistake, such as booking a hotel for the wrong dates, own up to it and move on, Elliott advises.

Pause before you fire off an email that you wrote while in the heat of anger: Have someone else read it first to make sure your complaint is polite and to the point.

Be ready for the growing role of AI

Increasingly, your first contact with customer service will be artificial intelligence chatbots. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Chatbots, for instance, are available 24/7 and are getting better, consumer advocates say.

“They can solve some basic problems,” such as trying to track a shipment, Elliott says. “But if you have a more complicated problem, AI is spectacularly bad.”

For a more complicated issue, request that a representative or agent help you.

Escalate your complaint

If you’re hitting a dead end, take your complaint up the management ladder. Don’t go straight to the top, however, because if the CEO won’t help, you’ve run out of options within the company.

Finding contacts for managers and executives often requires some online sleuthing. Check the company’s website or social media profile, or look for contacts on the Better Business Bureau’s website at www.bbb.org. Elliott Advocacy also posts contact information for customer service managers, chief financial officers and CEOs of about 2,000 companies on its website (elliottadvocacy.org) and updates the info when businesses change executives’ email addresses.

Air complaints on social media

Sharing your complaint on X, Facebook, TikTok or other social media may nudge a company to respond to you. But while seeking revenge or shaming a company on social media might make you feel better, it doesn’t always fix the problem. Neuman says social media does get a company’s attention, but it’s a double-edged sword. “We respond immediately to public posts, especially if they’re going viral,” Neuman says. But “once it’s public, everyone loses flexibility. We’ve had customers who posted before giving us a chance to fix it, and that delays the outcome. For companies, there’s also reputational risk in rewarding bad behavior to save face.”

Be patient but persistent

Give the company time to resolve your complaint. It may take days or weeks to get a resolution. “Businesses don’t like to say no, so they will probably try to come up with a solution that benefits both parties,” Elliott says. “They know that if they say no, your next stop is going to be to the attorney general, or an outside party like a consumer advocate, or ‘I’m calling the TV station.’ ”