Q: You already know what you want for Christmas this year. How do you plant the idea in your partner's mind?

Some people are sensitive to subtleties, while others need to be knocked over the head to get the hint.

Instead of being obvious, talk about liking the general category and then zero in on loving the exact item. Take your partner window-shopping — and if he or she doesn't like to shop, look through home magazines together and “window-shop” in the pages. Or go on a “gift hunt” together. It's a great way for your partner to see what you like.

You can also leave subliminal hints. Fold down a magazine page, place a Post-it note saying, “Love this,” and make sure your partner sees it.

If none of this works, then try the proven solution: Have a friend tell him or her what you want.

— Robin Baron, interior designer, lifestyle expert, television personality and founder of Simplifying Fabulous blog

?

None of us is a mind reader, and your partner might not pick up on hints.

Any time after Thanksgiving would be a good time to approach this conversation. Speak in a gentle manner, but also be clear. He or she needs to know exactly what you would like and how high it ranks on your list.

Say something like, “If you are looking for an idea of what I would like for Christmas, I would really appreciate ...”

In the early years of my marriage, I often bought expensive gifts that I thought my wife would like and I was disappointed when she didn't explode with joy. I soon discovered that it is far better to know what she wants before I make the purchase.

— Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”

Social Graces is a series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations.

Andreea Ciulac is a

freelancer.