When I first watched the video of Ellicott City's recent flood, I averted my eyes. I've witnessed catastrophic floods in Haiti and a devastating earthquake in Nepal as a freelance journalist, but nothing compares to seeing your own home destroyed. I grew up in Catonsville and spent my childhood fishing in Oella with my dad and drinking coffee as a teen-ager at Bean Hollow; Ellicott City is a core part of my definition of “home.”

I now live in Washington, D.C., and my professional “beat” is disasters. When I visit home, people always shake their heads and wonder how I can face so much human suffering. The honest truth is, the work is not as emotional or tragic as it seems. The first disaster I responded to was shocking, but by the second and third and fourth, I was accustomed to them. While disasters may seem different, they're actually all the same — even when, like this one, my own heart is tied up in the suffering.

We can respond better to the needs of our neighbors in Ellicott City by keeping in mind the lessons I've learned in Haiti, New Orleans, Nepal and elsewhere around the world. In the rush to throw benefit concerts and create pages on GoFundMe, I fear we risk ignoring the deeper issues. If Ellicott City is going to truly recover, our community must provide sustained attention to the less immediate, less emotional aspects of this event.

First, it is important to recognize that disasters don't affect people equally; the poor suffer more. In Ellicott City, it is older renters, young employees and business owners in debt who will feel the impacts of the flood more acutely. They are also destined to feel these effects for years. Although our instinct is to donate money right away, it is wiser to put money aside for a donation, then wait for the story to leave the news. Over time, disaster victims often find donations dry up just when they need them most.

Second, we must remember that while heavy rain is inevitable, disasters are not. At the center of every disaster is an infrastructure problem. God makes floods, but governments make gutters. Everyone knows Ellicott City has been inundated with flooding in the past, which means the problem was identified. Clearly, the solution was not.

It is not helpful to put the flooding in the category of a “once-in-a-generation” event. We need to look at the problem from a multi-generational perspective and consider the role of clogged watersheds, poorly constructed roads and the effectiveness of our flood warning system. The only way to craft a true solution for Ellicott City is to provide constant, unrelenting pressure on politicians and policymakers over time.

Finally, we can help Ellicott City most by asking residents and business owners what they actually need. People love to get their hands dirty and help right away, but unsolicited volunteers and donations can be a burden on struggling communities. Just showing up to help is often not helpful at all.

Many of my friends who live or work in Ellicott City have been on Facebook begging for people to give them room to breathe. We can do that. Instead of messaging someone we know in town, we should message elected officials. Those of us who remember floods of the past in Ellicott City should be asking for more details about what went wrong in this case. We need to ensure local voices are heard amid what will surely be a national response.

People of all generations can participate in rebuilding Ellicott City by remembering it. Not only as a cute tourist trap or a faster route to Columbia, but as a lasting brick-and-mortar neighborhood in an era of online, global communities. Disasters are often a chance to “reimagine” communities and reshape them around modern values. Unfortunately, the people who benefit most from reimaginings are usually corporate developers, not original owners.

Thousands of people like me live all around the world and want to come “home” again someday to the small businesses and the natural beauty that shaped our values and our lives. Whether or not Ellicott City rises again as the town we once knew will be entirely determined by how we respond in the long run. Floods can happen in mere minutes; recovery takes years. Ultimately, Ellicott City is not defined by this disaster: We are.

Emily Troutman is a freelance journalist and founder of Aid.Works; her email is troutman.emily@gmail.com; Twitter: @emilytroutman.