Veterans Day pays tribute to those who served in the military honorably. Whether our nation was at war or at peace, they promised to protect our liberty, independence and lives. Yet when I search the internet for “Veterans Day,” discounts and sales listings flood the news tab; and most disturbingly for me as a former Army officer and actual “military mom” who had two sons while in service, the image tab is dominated by photos of male soldiers.
Where are the pictures of women veterans? It’s easy to see why we’re hard to find when you look at the number of women veterans, to say nothing of the even smaller number of military moms and those who gave birth while we served. Out of about 17.9 million living veterans in September 2023, only 11.4% were women. In 2021, statistics show, just over 15,000 gave birth while in service. I can say that during the 20-plus years I was in the U.S. Army, I met very few women who gave birth while enlisted and even fewer who were a minority like me.
Military moms have made extraordinary sacrifices for our country and do not deserve to be overlooked. In so many ways we have gone above and beyond the usual expectations women face in the workforce as they raise children.
Military moms like me missed many of our children’s birthday parties, school events, parent-teacher meetings, games and recitals. We received calls about sick children with no flexibility to pick them up. Holiday celebrations are problematic too; you and your kids don’t get to see each other. And let’s not forget that getting your kids to activities that make them happy, well-rounded individuals is a nightmare when you’re in the military.
Then there’s military moms’ hardest sacrifice, which is serving thousands of miles away and not seeing their children — sometimes for up to a year — then dealing with their children after coming back a different person. This happened to me when I was deployed during Operation Iraqi Freedom. My eldest son would say, “Mommy’s so different now.” It was heartbreaking.
I’ve experienced all this and more and suffered the crushing anxiety, overwhelming stress and devastating guilt that these situations trigger. Fortunately, that’s where other military families jump in. Military moms become experts at building networks with colleagues and peers who can help.
On Veterans Day, these are important concerns for us to deliberate because our military, so critical to our nation’s survival as a democracy, is likely to be more female in the future. It already is more female than when I served; 11.4% of veterans were women in 2023, but only 6.2% were women in 2000. Women’s numbers are increasing in the military for good reason: Military service is one of the best ways for women to gain invaluable skills and experience, serve in exciting roles, attain financial security, have good benefits and even get help paying for higher education.
Women are already surpassing men in droves in college enrollment and graduation rates, and military service offers them pathways to better careers, greater benefits and a strong community. As a military mom, I raised successful sons, earned an MBA at an American university satellite while serving in Germany and started a professional services firm from scratch after leaving active duty in 2005.
A military career has become more accessible for women and mothers today due to recent policy changes such as allowing women to obtain more and better roles, extended maternity leave, better child care options and improved support systems for balancing family life with military service. However, despite these improvements, many challenges remain for military moms that must be solved, from more attention to reintegration to mental health strategies after deployments.
This Veterans Day, let’s give military moms the honor, respect and visibility they deserve.
Tabatha Turman is a U.S. Army veteran, a Maryland resident and CEO of Integrated Finance and Accounting Services.