About 85% of U.S. teens report playing video games, and about four in 10 do so daily, according to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center.
The survey of 1,423 teens, ages 13 to 17, revealed they experience both positive and negative sides of video games — from making friends and socializing to bullying and sleep loss.
Drew Lightfoot is a licensed therapist at Thriveworks, a Philadelphia-based mental health company. He’s also an avid gamer who works with adolescents and young adults who identify as “gamers.”
This conversation with Lightfoot has been edited for length and clarity.
Q: What’s an example of gaming strategy that can teach teens coping skills?
A:When you go through life, there are going to be stressful things that happen to you that can sometimes be overwhelming. Part of living a thriving life is to develop skills to handle those stressful situations. A good example is a video game called “Dark Souls,” which is a very difficult game to beat. In that game, you go through stages and you fight bosses, but at the end of every boss fight or through your travels, there are predesignated areas where you rest and recoup.
With that mindset, I work with my clients to identify, “Hey, what are the challenges in your life? What are the bosses in your life? What are the strategies that we can come up with to defeat those challenges, and then what reward or rest are you going to provide for yourself afterward?” Just like in video games, we need to rest in real life.
Q: We hear a lot of negatives about teen gaming. What are the positives?
A:Nowadays, whether it’s on a gaming console or personal computer, you’re almost always online. So you’re always playing with other people. Community building can happen online. So I think for a lot of people, especially for maybe more introverted individuals, it’s a safer space where they can engage in something that they enjoy doing, but it also opens the door to meet other people. I think building those relationships in those communities can be really helpful for adolescents.
Q: What are some red flags for parents and teens?
A:Gaming provides dopamine hits. It provides excitement and anything like that, we can do too much of. I hesitate to move into discussing video game addiction. I feel like that is probably overused. There’s way fewer people who are addicted to video games than parents are thinking.
One of the other negatives is the toxicity or the bullying that can happen online. When you play with other people behind anonymous screen names and a voice chat, it allows them to say whatever they want. Be mindful of the type of individuals you come across online and recognize when the bullying or the taunting may be getting to you. It might be time to get out of the game.
Q: How can teens develop a healthy relationship with gaming?
A:The conversation I have with families or teens is setting up more of a structure where we say, “These are the items that you need to complete today. When these items are complete, you have your free time to play video games.” I think that’s how “normal life” works for adults, so it’s a good way to develop that skill for adolescents.
Q: How can parents talk to their teen about gaming?
A:If someone is playing a lot of video games, the first thing I think is that they are trying to cope with something or escape from something. Have a conversation and look at what they are using video games to cope with. I also encourage parents to ask their kids what video games they’re playing, because depending on the video game, they might be learning skills that the parent might not even be aware of.