Q: You've decided not to do Christmas gifts this year. How to do you tell family or friends that you'd prefer to donate to charity or skip gifts altogether?

You might choose to highlight where you're giving to provide some perspective. For example, “I learned about this great organization that feeds hungry families. I'm using my holiday budget to support them this year.”

Have a conversation about the charitable causes that mean most to you. It may just bring some friends or family closer together.

For friends or co-workers you don't know as well, just dive in.

A card that says “I made a donation in your honor to a charity” is a thoughtful and touching gift, especially if you're giving to an organization or cause that has meaning to the recipient. It's easy to make this kind of donation through apps like Small Tokens or websites like Network for Good or GlobalGiving.

Want to skip gifts altogether? Approach the conversation with a charitable spirit. You can say something like, “There is so much sad news in the world today. What if we took this year to just recognize how lucky we are?”

— Eileen R. Heisman, president and CEO of the National Philanthropic Trust

If there are some people in your circle who still love the tangible gifting angle, there are a lot of great gifts that “give back” with your purchase, so that could be a great compromise.

To friends, you can say, “How about we give elsewhere this year instead of to each other?”

To your parents, you might , “You know how you raised me to be kind to others? Let's apply that to the holidays this year. Let's be kind by not giving to ourselves but by giving to those in need.”

Always make sure to mention how much you love and appreciate past gifts, maybe even mention a few concrete examples, so they don't take it as an attack on their gifting skills.

— Lindsay Schey, founder of TheGiftInsider.com

Social Graces is a series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations.

Andreea Ciulac is a freelancer.