We must find a more compassionate and pragmatic ways to address those difficult issues that are tearing our country apart. No issue seems more intractable than the abortion debate. Once again, we hear the battle cries intensify as some state governments liberalize abortion laws while others place restrictions on abortion providers (“Trump tells anti-abortion activists to stay united even as he distances himself from Alabama law,” May 19). Newspapers and television newscasts always highlight the extremes of both sides. Sadly, the tragedy of those who must make that painful choice tends to be lost in the propaganda. I believe that there is a much better way to address the issue of abortion.

Democrats, progressives and liberals must stop championing “a woman’s right to choose” as if they were promoting a good thing such as a woman’s right to vote or a woman’s right to equal pay. At best, an abortion is a sad thing, the tragic result of an unwanted or damaged pregnancy. There is nothing to celebrate.

Republicans, traditionalists and conservatives need to stop celebrating laws and appointing judges as if legally forcing a woman to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term will usher in the kingdom. Removing the legal abortion option will only complicate, not solve, the problem.

The Internet is flooded with horror stories from both sides, rallying their troops to action and asking for donations. Yet only a minority of women ever need to consider whether or not to undergo the procedure. Instead of enacting legislation, our first goal should be to implement ways reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies as we show compassion to those who must struggle with this painful issue. As a pastor for 40 years, I have agonized with women and couples and families who were considering an abortion for different reasons. Three come to mind that characterize most of the dilemmas. The first was a couple in their 40s, both with health issues, who had two teenage children looking forward to college, suddenly found themselves expecting. They were overwhelmed financially and emotionally and could not see the pregnancy as a blessing. Their obstetrician felt that there were too many health risks for the mother and suggested they consider an abortion. Members of the church who knew wanted to plan a baby shower. The couple felt pressure from all sides as they agonized about what to do.

The next involved a man who was a father, husband and active church member who had continually expressed to me his disagreement with the position of the Methodist Church (which advocates for retaining the legal option of abortion in some cases). He felt that abortion was horrible and should never be legal. So when his 15-year-old daughter got pregnant, he was faced with a huge dilemma. His wife and daughter felt an abortion was the only logical option, but he struggled with that plan. He and I had several painful talks before the family was able to make a mutual decision.

Another couple, in their early 30s with a healthy two-year-old were excited about their second pregnancy. But medical tests showed significant genetic issues and they were advised that carrying the baby to term could mean a stillbirth or a child who would never develop beyond the physical and mental capacity of an infant. I listened as a physician told them bluntly, “You have a healthy child, you can have another later, so why put this unnecessary burden on yourselves and your family?” They were devastated as they tried to make a decision that would impact the entire family emotionally and financially for a long time.

The decisions these families faced were agonizing and tragic. I did not tell how the story ended for them but some chose to carry the pregnancy to term, others did not. No one celebrated “a woman’s right to choose.” No one advocated making abortions illegal. And if our country wants to find a way forward on this divisive issue, we have to quit shouting slogans and instead face the painful ambiguities that emerge from an unwanted pregnancy. I believe that there are things we can agree on and work together to accomplish.

First, we can look at what works to decrease the number of unwanted pregnancies in the U.S. and around the world. Young people who have access to fact-based sexual education and support in making emotional decisions concerning sexuality have fewer unintended pregnancies. Teenagers who do not have the advantage of quality sex education have a higher rate of unintended pregnancies. So let us agree that every young person has the right to honest sexual education that includes emotional as well as biological education. The idea that talking about sex increases sexual activity among teens is silly. Every teen thinks about sex — a lot. I did and so did you. Teens need to have their questions answered honestly and to have positive role models.

And everyone must also have access to methods of preventing pregnancies. Some people may not want to use birth control for religious or cultural reasons and no one should try to coerce them into doing so. Likewise no one should try to use their own religion as a reason to prevent others from having access to birth control. This may be uncomfortable for some groups, but that is a small price to pay if we are going to reduce the number of people of must consider abortion. Next, we can offer a greater variety of options for women and couples who have unwanted pregnancies. More could be done to support women, especially teens, who would be willing to give a child up for adoption. And much more could be done to support adoptive families — especially those willing to adopt a baby who will have special needs. Providing support for child care, for medical care and other needs could go a long way to welcome all children into society.

Third, economic support for parents who want to keep children, especially special needs children, should be increased. Time off for new parents to bond with their new child is essential. Policies that do not penalize the careers of parents need to be established and enforced on a federal level. In short, financial considerations should not force people to choose to have an abortion.

Finally, the option of a safe, legal, private abortion should be available, not as a right or an easy solution, but as a tragic result of a failure in the system. There are times when an abortion might be the best of bad alternatives. We should be willing to compassionately support and not condemn those who make this difficult choice. No one needs to be forced to do anything to their own bodies that would violate their ethical or religious beliefs, and no one should try to force their beliefs on others either through undue coercion or the force of law. May we always act with compassion and keep our focus on the real tragedy of those who struggle with a challenged pregnancy instead of listening to the rallying cries of the extremists.

—Woodrow Eddins, Ellicott City