The Ravens had just demolished the Buffalo Bills on national television and the clock was nearing 11:30 p.m. at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore when the phone rang inside the luxury box. As Jack Harbaugh was winding down a thrilling night with family and friends, his eldest son, John, called up from the jubilant locker room to request his pop’s presence.
So the patriarch of the football family — the only one with two brothers to face off as opposing head coaches in the championship game of a major American team sport — ambled down the maze of stairs and down a hallway to find out what the fuss was all about.
To Jack Harbaugh’s bewilderment, he ended up in the interview room, where the assembled media was already gathered and awaiting the winning coach’s news conference.Jack, 85, wasn’t lost; he quietly turned to his boy to ask what was going on.
“I had no idea what he’s talking about, I see all of you and I’m thinking what am I doing here?” Jack recalled in an interview with The Baltimore Sun. “He’s says, ‘Dad, you got a question for me?’ So of course I yelled out ‘Whooo’s got it better than us?!’”
Except, awkward silence.
“I don’t know if it ever fell flatter,” Jack continued, letting out a self-deprecating laugh. “I told John, ‘I don’t think this is working too well.’
“Maybe the most embarrassing moment of my life. But in a moment when you win a game like that, that’s what you remember.”
It’s one of countless memories big and small that Jack has shared with his sons John and Jim, who will face off against one another when the Ravens (7-4) and Chargers (7-3) meet at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles on Monday night.
It will mark just the third meeting between the coaches, the most recent coming on the game’s biggest stage, the Super Bowl, in February 2013 when Jim was coach of the San Francisco 49ers (or fourth, if you count a preseason game in 2014, as John once eagerly pointed out). John has won them all, though whether it stays that way doesn’t really matter for parents Jack and Jackie, sister Joani or even the two coaches. It’s the journey that stands out.
“I think we’re just older, a little wiser, probably appreciate even more how cool it is, the gravity of it, how amazing it is to be in this situation get to play each other,” John Harbaugh, 62, told The Sun. “I think we’re both like, this really is unbelievable. But then you get back to reality and you’ve got work to do.”
That work — competition — has been going on their whole lives.
When they were young, there was one fight or another “every day,” said John, who is 15 months older than Jim and until about 18 or 19 was bigger than him, too. Until then, Jim used to fend John off with a “crab” technique, in which Jim would be on his back with hands and feet flailing upward as they wrestled in the family basement. John responded by grabbing one of the big brown corduroy body pillows nearby, swiping at his brother’s feet with it and then pouncing on him.
Of course, that only lasted so long.
Jim played quarterback for 14 seasons in the NFL, mostly for the Chicago Bears, who drafted him 26th overall in 1987, and the Indianapolis Colts before spending one season in Baltimore and then finishing his career with the Chargers and finally Carolina Panthers. Along the way, he was selected to the Pro Bowl in 1995 and led the Colts to the AFC championship game the same year.
John’s playing days ended at Miami University, where he was a defensive back before he turned to coaching — first as running backs and outside linebackers coach under his dad at Western Michigan, then in various roles at four other schools before finally landing with the Philadelphia Eagles as a special teams coordinator in 1998. He remained there until 2008, when a phone call from Bill Belichick helped get him hired as the Ravens coach.
In Baltimore, he became the only coach to win a playoff game in six of his first seven seasons, won a Super Bowl and has been a model of consistency as the second-longest tenured coach in the league behind only Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin.
Eventually, the younger Harbaugh joined his older brother in the coaching ranks, first as an offensive consultant at Western Michigan in 1994, then as the then-Oakland Raiders’ quarterback coach in 2002 before being named head coach at the University of San Diego in 2004. From there, it was off to Stanford in 2007, the 49ers in 2011, his alma mater Michigan in 2015 (with a national championship in 2023) and finally back to the Chargers earlier this year.
Along the way, the competition never stopped, be it on the half-basketball or shuffleboard court or billiards table at John’s house. Or in the pool playing water ping-pong against each other, which was, as John puts it, “a neck and neck battle” that grew intense until Jim’s wife Sarah stepped in “and beat us both.”
Their parents, meanwhile, have simply been along for the joyous ride.
Jack still sometimes makes appearances at practices and games for both of his sons. This week, they’ll watch the game from their daughter’s house in Bradenton, Florida, where they’ll be joined by son-in-law and former college basketball coach Tom Crean along with their grandkids. Perhaps fittingly, the game will also take place on their 63rd wedding anniversary.
Occasionally, there’s still some coaching wisdom dispensed, too.
For years, Jack has been getting game film after each of his son’s contests. After more than 40 years coaching at the college level, he will lend insight when asked.
“I don’t overwhelm them; I don’t call them, I don’t text,” Jack said. “If they have a question I can help them with, I’m open to part of the discussion. My wife Jackie, though, she’s been around it enough that if she sees something, she’s likely to let you know what she saw.
“When they were younger, just getting started I was more likely to say something. But I tell them this often: I wish I would’ve known what those two know, they are so good. Not the aspect of Xs and Os, it’s dealing with all they deal with. There’s so many things a coach is responsible for now.”
That includes managing the hoopla around a brotherly rivalry renewed that also includes a number of reunions among former Ravens now with the Chargers.
“I’m sure he doesn’t want to make it about him,” Jim said this week. ”I don’t want to make it about me. It is what it is. Big game, for sure. Two teams having at it.”
John, of course, views it similarly.
“It’s a tough matchup,” he said Thursday. “It’s a very good football team we’re playing this week. [The Chargers are] highly ranked in pretty much every area. [They’re] a winning football team, very physical, very tough [and an] extremely well-coached football team — no question about it. [Jim Harbaugh] is one of the best coaches of this generation, no question — I believe that. Even if he weren’t my brother, I would say the same thing. We have our work cut out for us.”
But will there be a moment when the two coaches step back from that intensity to appreciate the uniqueness of the moment?
Don’t count on it.
“I’m sure we’ll talk before the game, chit chat before the game, and it’ll be different because it’s my brother than it is with other coaches, and it’ll be great,” John said. “We had that moment before the Thanksgiving game [in 2011], we talked before the Super Bowl [the] same way. I don’t think it’s different in that sense. It’s really cool, but even when you’re talking, your thoughts are on the game and on the teams.”
Instead, they’ll leave that to the man who will be watching from afar.
After all, who knows how many more times Jack will get to see his sons stand across from each other doing what no other brothers have yet to do?
“The moments are fleeting,” Jack said. “We were at the Thursday night [Ravens vs.] Bengals game a couple weeks ago when they were down and came back and won. I went to the locker room and they were celebrating and excited and I wake up the next morning and John is already gone. He left for the office at 5:30 in the morning.
“It’s about an eight-hour deal. It reflects life so much — you can’t spend too long patting yourself on the back, and you can’t spend too long lamenting feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not a quality you want in this business and in life.”
After all, after a dozen-year gap, it’s time to find out who’s got it better between John and Jim Harbaugh.
Have a news tip? Contact Brian Wacker at bwacker@baltsun.com, 410-332-6200 and x.com/brianwacker1.