Travel for 2
What to talk about
before leaving town
with a friend or partner
Two times, Dena Roche realized boyfriends were going to become breakups while traveling.
The first time, her plus-one got jealous when someone pulled her onto the dance floor in Belize, revealing an insecure side “I hadn't seen before,” she said.
Next, during a Hawaii vacation, a man took advantage of an all-you-can-eat situation to a repulsive degree.
“I actually faked being sick on this trip to avoid him touching me,” said Roche, who lives in Phoenix and writes The Travel Diet.
Whether it's a best friend or a romantic getaway, travel for two can bring obstacles more unique than solo or groups.
We talked to experts to find out potential plane, train or automobile pitfalls — and what to tackle before you go.
Money
Talk about cash. And not just an overall budget.
Do you prefer a $2 lunch of street food, or an expensive three-course dinner with a skyline view? The answer matters, because money is where you decide how you want to spend the trip.
When traveling with her partner, “Approach Guides” co-author Jennifer Raezer makes sure to discuss meals, excursions and transportation.
“These are critical items to get out of the way before taking off, so you don't spend your vacation discussing money issues or missing an experience because you're worried about cash,” she said.
Sure, at home, you may decide easily enough whether to order Thai or pizza. But those decisions amplify when it's the one night you'll spend in a locale, or debating different price points.
For example, said Stacie Krajchir, author of “The Itty Bitty Guide to Business Travel,” “Do you want to alternate paying for meals as we go rather than split the check at every meal?”
Having different budgets isn't a deal-breaker. Consider getting groceries at a local store so you can splurge on meals when you want to, suggests Jetta Bates, who runs Jettasetting.comand is on Bravo's “Tour Group” show following travelers.
Without chatting before, “the person that is in a place to really spend on vacation will feel stifled and perhaps a bit obligated to pick up the check,” she said.
Style of travel
Make sure to compare organization and research styles. Do you want to sleep in, or get up early and attack the day?
Liz Dahl, a former travel agent who founded Boomer Travel Patrol, advises people to compare sleeping and eating expectations. Three meals a day or snacks? Chat about whether you want to sit on the beach or visit museums.
“All of these activities are great, but know this before you go so you can compromise and make sure each person has a good time,” she said.
Whether planning with a romantic partner or friend, talking about it before embarking on your fifth museum is key, said Colin Matthes, who runs Stamped Travel with his girlfriend, Jenoa Esplin.
“Some people are very good at improvising and making plans as they go,” he said, “Other people love having an entire day planned out.”
One option is for each person to pick a No. 1 thing they want to do during the trip. Prioritize those.
And think through stressful triggers that will put you in a tense spot — waiting for baggage, standing in lines.
For example, John and Luisa Rasiej, who have been married for more than 25 years and help couples travel together, suggest that one person get the luggage, letting the other relax with an airport cappuccino.
Thought process
What are you both expecting from the trip? For example, said Mark Jackson, travel editor for Brad's Deals, if one person's plotting a romantic getaway, it never hurts to compare notes.
“I have heard many a tale of potential lovers not being on the same page before departing,” he said.
Traveling together can boost, or crumble, a relationship. Either way, you'll probably see each other at your worst.
Krista Canfield, at travel website Gogobot, and her fiance took a trip three months into dating. They planned to hike in Kauai, Hawaii, and summit Mount Fuji in Japan.
“We knew an epic excursion together would either break or cement our relationship,” Canfield said. Sitting next to each other on long-haul flights helped them bond, she said.
Finally, embrace the unexpected.
Beth Santos, founder of Wanderful, was in Istanbul with her husband for just 24 hours — and her husband decided to use precious moments for a haircut.
“At first I was fuming,” she recalled. “But then it turned out to be one of the best experiences ever to watch him get his hair cut by a tiny barber in the streets of Istanbul.”
Plan and discuss ahead of time to get on the same mental page to ensure a great trip and head off headaches.
As Roche learned, “It's really hard to ask someone to find their way to an airport three hours away.”