“I can’t wait to tell you about Ella’s prom day,” exuded my friend Bobbi about her beloved granddaughter. Instead of paying for expensive updos, professionally applied makeup and florist corsages, Ella and her friends did it all themselves. And what fun they had! Ten girls gathered at Ella’s house at 9:30 a.m. on prom day for bagels, cream cheese and happy chatter. Then they styled each other’s hair, applied makeup and picked up flowers from Trader Joe’s to fashion homemade corsages.

“Our cell phones were put away,” explained Ella, “except to play music. After getting ready, we took our phones back out to make TikTok videos and take pictures.”

I grinned as Bobbi painted the scene of this group of high school girlfriends busily applying mascara and blush, blow-drying, straightening and pinning up each other’s hair. Gales of laughter, bantering and affectionate hugs streamed through the morning as these friends transformed their sleepy bed heads and puffy morning eyes into fashion model coifs and shiny faces. But most of all, the shine came from the group’s embrace.

What a contrast to the traditional approach: High school seniors go for separate hair and makeup appointments while their prom dates pick up corsages from local florists. Expensive and alone. No hugs. No spontaneous laughter. No silly over-teased hair or deliberately smudged mascara.

In a nutshell, this contrast between Ella’s DIY cellphone-free group funfest and the costly do-it-alone alternative encapsulates key components underpinning today’s troubling rise in depression and anxiety in our adolescents.

According to the 2025 World Happiness Report, happiness in the United States is at its lowest point. Additional data from the Global Flourishing Project found that “young people’s emotional and psychological distress is more pronounced in wealthy, industrialized nations such as the United States.” Our American teens are more depressed and anxious than ever.

What happened to long, languid summer days, lying next to your best friend under a maple tree, watching elephants float by in the clouds and picking up wide blades of grass to trumpet nature’s music? What are the consequences to the development of imagination, patience and the embrace of boredom? Sadly, we are reprogramming our brains to require text fixes much like people with addictions crave opiates or alcohol. Today’s teens can barely sit still.

In his excellent book, “The Anxious Generation,” Jonathan Haidt shows how teens’ overuse of smartphones has brought about a host of harms including anxiety and loneliness. Quiet time to wonder, daydream and relish the mottled bark of sycamore trees has fallen by the wayside. Instead, rewired brains seek constant electronic stimulation devoid of human connection, conversation and warmth.

In the final years of my clinical psychology private practice, which dovetailed with the onset of COVID-19, I was horrified to see the mental health of my adolescent patients plummet to an unprecedented low. During a Zoom session with 16-year-old Casey, her eyes barely opened as if sadness had invaded her facial muscles, paralyzing them into a mask of sorrow. Her typical highly inflected voice with her signature lilt that ended every sentence on an up note was gone. “Casey,” I said repeatedly, “I can’t hear you. Would you speak up?” “I can’t,” she muttered.

Even though Casey was home with her loving parents and siblings, she spent the entire day and night in her room, studying little, mostly texting or posting on Instagram and TikTok. “Why don’t you stop, hang out with the family, take a walk?” I asked. “I can’t. I can’t stop,” she said. “How does it make you feel?” I asked. “Awful, but I can’t stop.”

Unless, like Ella and her prom day project, friends join together, fully engaged in a shared endeavor. I applaud Ella for her group spirit and for knowing the magic that in-person, device-free times instill: joy, laughter, spontaneity and hugs. Let’s establish phone-free time zones in our homes and restore light to our teens’ eyes and hearts.

Patricia Steckler (pattisteckler@gmail.com) is a retired psychologist who was in private practice for 40 years. She lives in Bethesda and is a 2019 graduate of the Johns Hopkins science writing master’s degree program.